Older Women Are Great

After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, ”fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and  watched a 10″ black and white TV, but I got to sleep with a hot 23 — year — old girl every night. Now, I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 69 — year — old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23 —year —old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10″ black and white TV.

Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy’s problems.

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older:

9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
8. Life is sexually transmitted.
7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
6. Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
3. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
2. In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

1. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

4 thoughts on “Older Women Are Great

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