On Becoming Illegal

https://www.wyden.senate.gov/imo/media/image/aboutbanner_1400.jpgUS Senator Ron Wyden for Oregon

(unverified letter from an Oregon resident sent to his Senator)

The Honorable Wyden
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Wyden,

As a native Oregonian and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for
becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is accurate, as an
illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need
to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only
three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am
anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes
in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be
illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my
family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums
for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a
year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as
well as “in-state” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United
States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age
children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance

Your Loyal Constituent,
(hoping to reach “illegal alien” status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )

Dale B. Rilyeu

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