Category Archives: Poetry

Friday Before Christmas

When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?”

And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Quid Pro Quo: Obama Gave $350M Common Core Deal To Publisher, Got $65M Book Deal In Return

Well, well, well, lookie what we got here…

As House Democrats go through President Trump’s history with a fine tooth comb, attempting to find anything they can possibly use as leverage with the public to forcibly remove him from office, let’s turn to their own side of the aisle, starting with the once penniless President Obama, who left public office a very, very rich man.

The former community organizer just bought an upscale Martha’s Vineyard mansion for an eye-watering $11.75 million, which has been added to his collection of properties including the Kalorama lookout post, the Chicago home, and possibly a Hawaii spread. So much for “Yes we can.” More like “You just watch me.”

Obama’s huge wealth is mainly the work of his book deals. No bribery, high crimes and misdemeanors there, right?

Well, take a closer look…

According to Investment Watch (IWB), Obama’s business dealings don’t pass the smell test.

Obama gave Pearson Publishing a hugely lucrative $350 million contract to produce Common Core text books then a few years later, as soon as he left office, Pearson, under a new name, gave Obama a $65 million dollar book deal in return.

Pearson Publishing was paid for Common Core but Penguin Random House Publishing did the Obama book deal. But there is commonality with the two:

From Wikipedia:

Penguin Random House was formed on July 1, 2013, upon the completion of a £2.4 billion transaction between Bertelsmann and Pearson to merge their respective trade publishing companies, Random House and Penguin Group. Bertelsmann and Pearson, the parent companies, owning 53% and 47%, respectively.

In July 2017, Pearson agreed to sell a 22% stake in the business to Bertelsmann, thereby retaining a 25% holding.

That looks like a classic bribe. It certainly looks more like a bribe than President Trump asking his counterpart in a country rife with corruption to investigate clearly shady dealings.

You give me this big contract, and I’ll kick your share back to you at a later date. It’s called the Chicago Way. The book cash millions flowed to Obama in 2017, even though Pearson, incidentally, seemed to lose money anyway, given the public distaste for Obama’s disastrous Common Core curriculum, which extended to some states ditching the program.

President Trump saw what was happening in real time and voiced his warnings about the apparent quid pro quo last summer

It’s not the first time Obama has taken massive cash payments from companies he bestowed with benefits during his time in office.  IWB notes that Obama’s net neutrality stance benefited Netflix, and surprise, surprise, he received a very lucrative deal from the streaming platform, too.

One hand washes the other.

Book deals.  The way to get rich upon leaving public office, just as congressional insiders make themselves rich in public office by trading on insider information, as described by Peter Schweizer in Throw Them All Out.”

There are a hundred ways to Sunday for politicians to get rich both in and out of public office.  As the Democrat House now focuses on impeaching President Trump, their hypocrisy is pretty glaring.  Obama’s shady deals are what need investigating, not President Trump’s bid to halt corruption in Ukraine.

But Democrats across the country remain in thrall to Obama, completely captured by his bamboozle. As Carl Sagan wrote:

One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.

Source: by Baxter Dmitry | News Punch

To All My Children…

To all my children,

Knowledge is power. Power is freedom.

Here’s a belated list of basic necessary life skills for you to develop and overcome as adults that I found on the internet today.

My point in sending is to provide you with a head start focus on all the ones I failed to acquire and pass along.  

Love always,
Dad

40 Lessons To Teach Your Children Before They Leave Home

“Millennials” have been the butt of a million jokes about incompetence. The generation born between 1981 and 1996 is considered entitled, ultra-liberal, and naive about how life works. But maybe they’ve gotten a bad rap because what no one ever points out is that maybe the issue isn’t with these young people but with how they were raised. I know that my own millennial daughter is competent, frugal, and independent.

https://www.zerohedge.com/s3/files/inline-images/2019-06-29_12-10-05.jpg?itok=x6nHdP5A

As a parent, the most important job I will ever hold is “mom” to my two daughters. And if I’m not teaching them the important life lessons they need to survive and thrive in this crazy world, I’m not doing a very good job at all. Of course, once they get out there, there are a million variables, but how they deal with those variables has a lot to do with whether they were raised to think independently or raised to wait for rescue.

While I raised girls, I think it’s essential that we teach our kids skills outside the typical gender roles. Boys need to know how to cook. Girls need to know how to fix things. Maybe it won’t be their lot in life to do things outside their traditional roles, but take it from someone who never planned to become a single mom, things don’t always go the way you expect.

As my younger daughter prepares to leave the nest (*mom sobbing*) I feel confident she’ll be just fine because I’ve taught her to the best of my ability the things she needs to know to be a successful adult.

The skills you teach your children while they’re your captive audience will see them through many things – not just everyday life but also through a potential disaster.

Everyday skills every young person should have

Here are the lessons that I think every parent needs to teach their child, whether you’re raising boys or girls. Before leaving the nest, they should be able to:

  1. Cook inexpensive, nutritious meals from scratch
  2. How to use up leftovers
  3. Get from point A to point B using public transit or under their own power
  4. Budget limited money so that the most important things are paid first
  5. Mend and repair items instead of replacing them
  6. Take a course in First Aid, CPR, and anything else applicable that is offered.  The more you know, the calmer you are able to remain during a crisis.
  7. Have a good basic First Aid kit and know how to use everything in it
  8. Know some home remedies for various common illnesses: teas for tummy aches, treatment for flu symptoms, how to soothe skin irritations, and how to care for a fever
  9. Drive.  Not only an automatic transmission but also a standard transmission
  10. Change a tire.  You don’t want your teenage daughter stranded on the side of the road at the mercy of whoever stops to help. My daughters were not allowed to drive the car until they demonstrated their ability to change the tire with the factory jack.
  11. Perform minor maintenance, like checking the oil and fluid levels, filling up the washer fluid, checking tire pressures and topping them up if needed, and changing the windshield wiper blades.
  12. Use basic tools for repairs
  13. Cook a healthy meal from scratch
  14. Cook a “company” meal – everyone needs one delicious meal that’s a little fancier they can cook when they have a guest
  15. Grocery shop within a budget and have healthy food for the week ahead
  16. Speaking of that, how to budget in general, so that they don’t have “too much month and not enough money”
  17. How to clean
  18. How to do laundry, including stain removal
  19. How to think for themselves and question authority
  20. How to budget for holidays and vacations
  21. How to manage their time to get necessary tasks accomplished by the deadlines
  22. How to tell the difference between a want and a need
  23. How to be frugal with utilities and consumable goods
  24. How to pay bills
  25. How to stay out of debt (not easy with the college credit card racket that you see on campuses across the country and rampant student loans)
  26. How to pay off debt if they have it
  27. How to keep safe: they need to have basic self-defense and weapons-handling skills.
  28. How to navigate with a paper map – not Google or their car’s GPS
  29. How to make extra money fast if an emergency arises

Emergency skills every young person should have

Some of the skills above will cross over into emergencies, like First Aid. Outside of the basics of everyday life, your kids leaving home should know:

  1. How to light a fire
  2. How to cook safely over an open fire
  3. How to keep warm when the power is out, whether that means safely operating an indoor propane heater, using the wood stove/fireplace, or bundling up in a tent and sleeping bags in the living room
  4. How to keep themselves fed when the power is out – they should have enough supplies on hand that they can stay fed at home for up to two weeks: cereal, powdered milk, granola bars, canned fruit, etc.
  5. How to deal with the most likely disasters in their area
  6. About the dangers of off-grid heating and cooking, such as the risk of carbon monoxide poisoning in unventilated rooms.
  7. How to purify water
  8. How to keep safe both at home and when they’re out. Be sure they know the difference between cover and concealment
  9. How to do laundry by hand and hang it to dry
  10. How to keep things sanitary without running water
  11. How to acquire food: foraging, fishing, gardening, hunting

It’s our job to make sure our kids are competent when they leave home.

Source: ZeroHedge

Cats And Dogs

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.”
 -George Carlin

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
-Robert A. Heinlein

“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”
-Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever

“Cats are connoisseurs of comfort.”
-James Herriot, James Herriot’s Cat Stories

“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.”
-Mark Twain

“A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not.”
-Ernest Hemingway

“The smallest feline is a masterpiece.”
-Leonardo da Vinci

“Time spent with a cat is never wasted.”
-Colette

“A lie is like a cat: You need to stop it before it gets out the door or it’s really hard to catch.”
-Charles M. Blow (columnist)

“It is very inconvenient habit of kittens (Alice had once made the remark) that, whatever you say to them they always purr.”
-Lewis Carroll (author, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland)

“Cats choose us; we don’t own them.”
-Kristin Cast (author, House of Night series)

“Way down deep, we’re all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them.”
-Jim Davis (cartoonist, Garfield)

“How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven.”
-Robert A. Heinlein (author, Red Planet)

“A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more than can be said for human beings.”
-William Ralph Inge (author, Outspoken Essays)

“Cats have it all – admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it.”
-Rod McKuen (poet, Stanyan Street & Other Sorrows)

“You cannot look at a sleeping cat and feel tense.”
-Jane Pauley (journalist, The Today Show)

“If a dog jumps into your lap it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing it is because your lap is warmer.”
-A.N. Whitehead (mathematician and philosopher)

“The phrase ‘domestic cat’ is an oxymoron.”
-George Will (columnist)

Attorney Letter

John, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Ken.

So they loaded up John’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

“I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,” she explained, “and I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”

“Don’t worry,” John said. “We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.”

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of golf.

But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Ken and asked, “Ken, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?”

“Yes, I do,” said Ken.

“Did you, um, er, um, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?”

“Well, uh, yes!” Ken replied, a little embarrassed about being found out, “I have to admit that I did.”

“And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?”

Ken’s face turned beet red and he said, “Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did. Why do you ask?”

“She just died in an untimely accident but left me everything in her will.”

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn’t you?…

you know you smiled…now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)